June 9, 2012

2:30 pm Briefing & Testimony—Main Sanctuary
3:30-4:30pm Prayer Walk—North Side River Walk
4:30-5:00pm Worship
5:00pm-6:00pm Light Refreshments
Registration Required: www.acac.net/prayer or call Cheryl X146

We encourage corporate prayer, effecting change in the community.

We believe that God’s Spirit moves among His people as we seek, pray and worship Him. As we come together for this Prayer Walk, we engage the Spirit’s move through our community. We pray for an outpouring of renewal, repentance, restoration and deliverance for the North Side and the city of Pittsburgh.

As we extend our hands over the city and over the North Side, we pray for God’s authority and grace. We pray specifically as the Spirit leads, and generally for:

1. Our government

2. Politics

3. Economic Blessing

4. Transit System

5. Law Enforcement & Public Safety (police, fire, EMT)

6. Diversity

7. Ethical Business Practices

8. Education

My paternal grandmother was an amazing woman.  She was well ahead of her time in a lot of ways.  Born in 1929, a graduate in Art Education from Edinboro University in 1952, she was a thinker and innovator.  Before it was popular or even P.C., my grandmother believed in equality for women and minorities.   A few nights ago, my dad shared this story:

I was 8 years old in 1964 when up north and down south,
there were only two words for African American’s. 
The politically correct term: ‘colored’. Or the other.

Growing up in Moon Township, we didn’t see many minorities. 
So it was slightly startling one afternoon to answer the doorbell for an
African American gentleman selling something.
I went down to get my mom and informed her that ‘A colored man is on the porch to see you.’
My mother was surprised and slightly miffed at me; I didn’t know why. 

She went up and talked to the gentleman and when she was finished,
she called me to her and said, ‘Don’t you EVER say that again!’ 

I remember being extremely confused.  ‘What did I say, mom?’
And her reply was something I’ll carry with me forever.
She said, ‘Don’t you ever call a man colored.  He’s a man. 
All you need to tell me is that a man is at the door. 
There is no need to distinguish.’

– David Bachman

After he finished this story, my dad and I lamenting the terrible disease that has taken his mother’s pioneering mind: Alzheimer’s.

How I wish I could talk to her about Amendment One. Being a stay at home mom vs. a working one.  Her thoughts on urban living.  I wish I could ask her how to prune my weeping cherry tree, because Elizabeth Mudie Bachman was also a fantastic gardener.  The woman could grow anything.  She liked her gardens like she liked her life, a little on the unruly side.

The worst part of this disease, in my opinion, is the very reality that she is still living and yet I speak of all her personal attributes and characteristics in past-tense.  She is a shell of who she was.  It’s heartbreaking.  And yet, despite how far gone her mental capabilities are, something pretty amazing carries on. 

My grandmother was the get down and dirty kind.  We played in mud, with her.  We hiked in the woods for hours, with her.  We shoveled driveways, with her.  We raked leaves, endless leaves on Oakheaven Drive (if the name isn’t an indication, I don’t know what is), with her.  We played games and learned and created and invented, with her.  She didn’t merely watch us, she entered into our world and added elements of wonder and magic to our already active make-believe.  She knit her family together with chords of love and loyalty that, to this day, are unbreakable.  The cousins I have on that side of the family are closer to siblings than typical cousins.  We are close friends because of her. 

Jesus was that kind of God, to us.  He came as Emmanuel, God with us.  He got down on his holy, perfect knees to pick up a child and to relate to a hooker.  He went fishing to share an experience with His disciples and found joy in the day to day.  God understood that for Him to be believable, to carry on a legacy that saved the lost and bonded people together, He needed to send a Savior to be, with us.  Jesus was only here for 33 years and in ministry (an active spiritual parent) for three.  And in that short time, He changed the world.  His legacy carries on.  There will always be a Church.

As you parent, for as long or as little as you have – make it count.  Give experiences and cultivate play that inspires your family to say, "I know we are loved because my parent was with us. Engaged.  Not just a supervisor or even a facilitator, but a role model, a friend, a playmate."  

Cultivate your children’s friends, cousins, world-view, gardening or other skills – be WITH them.  Get where they are and enter their world.  It doesn’t come without challenges, but if my grandmother could go through the paddlewheel after losing a game of freeze tag, then we can have a tea party with our daughter or throw a football with our son. If our God can step out from total light into the murk of sin and self-righteousness, then we can choose to perceive the necessity of involvement in the lives of those around us and make ourselves available to them, with them.

Happy Parenting, with!

Lindsay Flickinger
Allegheny Center Alliance Church
Communications Coordinator (Part-Time)
Wife & Mother of Two Children

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something he must cling to. —Philippians 2:4-6

Who can you point to as an example of generosity in your experience?  I have been blessed to be on the receiving end of some great models in generosity.

My parents were not well prepared financially for my college years.  We filled out the standard financial aid forms, and I did qualify for some help, but the portion the government considered my parents could contribute was a bit of a shock to them.  Nevertheless, without complaint they met that expectation by sending me a check every month for over four years.

After college, and after marrying my college sweetheart, I was able to enroll in seminary with the support of a working wife and the generosity of the church I was serving as youth minister.  The church was a two and a half hour drive from seminary campus, but a church elder and his wife kept us in their home every weekend for two years—without compensation!  They designated a room and a place at their table as ours.

These examples, and others I have experienced, have given me a very real understanding of generosity.  I can only hope that you have encountered some people in your life who were not just looking out for themselves.  People who were able to recognize your burden, who were concerned with what was concerning you, and who were willing to take practical steps to help.

Even if you have not learned generosity in that way from someone near to you, certainly we can all learn from Jesus.  He set the standard when it comes to looking out for others’ interests.  By nature he enjoyed every privilege, every prerogative, but he was willing to give all of that up.  He who was accustomed to ruling as equal with God, chose the life of a servant, because it was the only way to rescue condemned sinners and restore them to God and eternal life.

Do you consider yourself a generous person?  We are not talking about leaving the waitress a tip, or contributing to the red kettle at Christmas time.  Do you give serious thought for the interests of others, or is life all about you?  What are you willing to sacrifice to meet the great need of someone(s) near you?

Father, I confess that by the standard of Jesus, I have not been a generous person.  Give me eyes to see beyond my own interests.  Make me aware of the hopes, and fears, and needs of people I encounter, and show me how I can serve them.  Amen.

David Baynes, ACAC Elder and C&MA Gift Planner
Your comments are welcome here.  For confidential inquiry, write baynesd@cmalliance.org

The last two weeks we have looked at Purpose Food and Purpose Prayer. It seems only fitting that I write one more entry to complete this trinity of purpose insights, so purpose thoughts seems just as good as any.  Let me share some of my latest purpose thoughts with you in random order of importance.

THE THOUGHTS

1. Purpose is more relevant than when I began teaching it 20 years ago. Why?  Because there are more opportunities available today than back then. When there are so many things you can do, you must ask the question what it is that you should do more than ever.
2. The number one reason why more people don't know their purpose is because they don't ask and keep on asking until they get an answer.
3. The number two reason why more people don't know their purpose is because they try to figure out too quickly how they can make money from it. Thoughts about career, salary and benefits hinder or destroy emerging purpose thoughts.
4. The number three reason why more people don't know their purpose is because they are afraid, not of failure, but of success!  Meditate on that for a moment.
5. The younger generation is not as interested in purpose as I would have thought.  They are interested in service and meaning, which emanate from purpose.  But because they have seen purpose kidnapped by salary and career interests, they react to the concept of purpose for the wrong reasons.
6. Women continue to be the main consumers of my purpose message, probably because purpose was denied them for so long.
7. I still maintain that motherhood is a role and not a purpose - seldom is anyone's purpose defined in terms of serving or helping another person exclusively, unless that person has special needs due to a physical or mental challenge.
8. It is never too early or too late in life to pursue purpose.
9. When I reached my 50s, I thought my development was pretty much over, that I would do what I had been doing, hopefully a little better or for more money.  To my surprise, my 50s were my greatest growth years.
10. I get more questions and sometimes opposition when I teach about doing what you love and what gives you joy than anything else I teach.  That always surprises me.
11. When I started teaching purpose, I thought every church in the world (well, at least in the U.S.) would want their people to hear that message.  They have not and pastors continue to misunderstand and even oppose the purpose message.
12. If I could help churches get more volunteers to usher, work in the nursey or sing in the choir, I would be a busy and probably wealthy man.

YOUR THOUGHTS

Those are my thoughts where purpose is concerned. What are yours?  Feel free to send me your purpose thoughts this week and I will add them to mine and publish them next week. You can send them to me at johnstanko@gmail.com or post them to the site where this entry is posted. Have a great week!

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KENYA LIBRARY UPDATE:  Pastor Peter picked up the books and they are in Banana! You can read his report and see more pictures here. We will need to give them some additional finances to complete the project, as you can read in Peter's update. You can give through my website or by sending a check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0882.

If you are a Christian seeking emotional health that lines up with spiritual truth, the best counselor for you is one who uses the Great Counselor in helping guide you through your problems.  There are many ideas about how this should look, even among Christian counselors, so acknowledging that, I offer my own experienced opinion here.

Let’s start with qualifications for counseling.  When I received my license in 1986, the only master’s level therapists, generally speaking, were from the discipline of social work.  MSW therapists (master’s in social work) were the backbone of providing all kinds of counseling—marital, family, individual, and child.  Typically, anyone who became qualified through the discipline of psychology pursued a doctoral degree (PhD) and they counseled as well.  But they were more expensive, for insurance companies, agencies and clients.

Then about 10 years ago, a movement began within the discipline of psychology to qualify master’s level psychology majors to counsel just like the MSW therapist.  This movement has effectively provided a new group of therapists in the field who are now licensed to counsel, just like the social work counselors.  The clinical license (which means someone is trained to do therapy) for the social work discipline is the LCSW (licensed clinical social worker); the clinical license for the psychology discipline is the LPC (licensed professional counselor).  In my opinion, counselors with either license are equally qualified professionally.

So what makes a professionally qualified counselor a good Christian counselor?  Again, there are varying perspectives on this topic.  I have heard from clients that some therapists advertise themselves as Christian therapists, but never use scripture, prayer, or a discussion of walking in relationship with God as part of the counseling process  It was a mere title, but not indicative of the therapeutic approach.  I think a client seeking Christian counseling is generally looking for understanding of his problems within the context of Christian faith.  That means, understanding behavior in terms of God’s truth.  If you are looking for a Christian counselor, it is advisable to ask for whatever you want in the counseling as you are ‘shopping’.  It is reasonable to search for the best ‘fit’ for you.  It is important to speak to this, because, ethically speaking, a therapist cannot assume you want counseling which applies your faith—you need to express that you want it.

As I have mentioned before, some Christian therapists shun use of tools from the field of psychology, believing they distract from the truth of scripture.  I do not share this perspective, although as Christians, we should always be discerning the Holy Spirit’s leading in any situation.  There are probably some ‘Christian’ therapists who may talk about ‘poor self esteem’, for example, without speaking to God’s view of us as his beloved, which gives us the real esteem we need!

A large part of counseling is learning to frame problems in a way which helps to bring understanding and hope to the issue.  Some approaches to do this include looking at environment, what has been reinforced in one’s life, and how someone may have tried to run from or react to situations.  Most of our reactions to problems involve avoiding them, one way or the other.  We distract ourselves, trying to bury the hurts, with work, food, drugs, alcohol, etc., and avoid facing the pain we must address.  We let the hurt separate us from the One who can show us His healing.  We are desperate, in need of hope, so we can finally face the work ahead.  And often, the Lord allows crisis to push us to that point!

Whatever the specific approach, the undergirding framework should be the relationship we have with God.  We are made in his image.  He wants us to know his love, his grace, his forgiveness, his truth.   Getting to that point of understanding takes some work.  We usually want instant relief, but that does not typically happen, because our feelings usually block us from application of God’s truth.  Because we are human, and our nature is sinful (it is ‘about’ us) we usually need to travel down a path of grief, anger, or fear, before we are ready to receive God’s healing. 

There is so much to share, and I could go on and on, because I rejoice in the fact that God is always ready for us to find Him!  I have seen such wonderful ‘reunions’ with clients once they have let go of their hurt and distress!  My main point is that a Christian therapist will help walk you through these steps, bringing you to the threshold which you must cross, to enter into God’s healing. 

And finally, a plug:  the Christian Counselors Collaborative (CCC), the counseling program born out of ACAC’s counseling department, has such therapists you might consider.  All it takes is a phone call to our intake coordinator, Tom Laird (1.855.222.2575) to find out if there is a counselor to help you walk through whatever struggles you have. 

I am excited about future blogs, to address the kinds of issues people often have, the truth about ourselves and our behavior, which often contributes to the problems we end up experiencing.

Blessings,

Priscilla Ortlip

MSW, LCSW, ACS

Founder and Executive Director

The Christian Counselors Collaborative

www.acac.net/counseling

Disclaimer:  I am a professional, licensed clinical therapist in the state of PA, but this blog is not a therapeutic venue—anything I state here is not for treatment or to address anyone’s specific emotional or mental health need.  If you are experiencing immediate distress, call 911.  If you would like to consider counseling here at ACAC, please call Tom Laird at 1.855.222.2575.

American Stroke Association – Preliminary studies presented at the International Stroke Conference show that the greater the intake of sugar-sweetened and low-calorie sodas, the significantly higher risk of stroke.

National Center for Biotechnology Information – Daily intake of sugary soft drinks lead to and increases fat storage in the liver and in muscle tissues.  This daily intake is likely to enhance the risk of cardiovascular and metabolic diseases, as well as determining the level of insulin resistance, possibly predisposing a person to type 2 diabetes.

Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) – sweet-tasting soft drinks—regardless of whether they are sweetened with sugar or a calorie-free sugar substitute—might stimulate the appetite for other sweet, high-carbohydrate foods.  Studies show an increase in risk of diabetes with increasing soft drink and fruit drink consumption.  For those of you trying to lose weight on artifical sweeteners, HSPH states: "One worry about artificial sweeteners is that they uncouple sweetness and energy.  Until recently, sweet taste meant sugar, and thus energy.  The human brain responds to sweetness with signals to, at first, eat more and then with signals to slow down and stop eating.  By providing a sweet taste without any calories, artificial sweeteners could confuse these intricate feedback loops that involve the brain, stomach, nerves, and hormones.  If this happens, it could throw off the body's ability to accurately gauge how many calories are being taken in."  Your body also craves what you put in it.  Stop drinking sweet sodas and you'll stop craving sweets.

Well readers, I hope you are now seriously considering giving up your soda... FOR YOUR HEALTH!!  I am four days soda free.  Let me know if you're joining me on this soda-free lifestyle and we'll celebrate together!!

Let’s be logical for a minute—really practical.  I want to keep the silverware (really “stainless-ware”) in the drawer closest to the table.  That drawer is between the sink/dishwasher and the table so it is the perfect place. But Donna wants to put the silverware in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen between the stove and refrigerator.  The cooking utensils should be there, but they are in another drawer in the island counter across from the stove.  Now really, what sense does that make?   While it makes it quite convenient to pull out a fork from the silverware drawer, open the fridge, and stab a few chunks of cantaloupe out of the bowl, that is not usually why we access the silverware.  I might also grab a spoon and sample the stuff cooking on the stove top, but again, that’s a unique situation.   What we do most of the time is take the spoons, knives, and forks out of the drawer and lug them all the way across the kitchen to the table for a meal, then gather them after the meal and drag them back across the kitchen to be washed.

Donna and I had this discussion when we first moved into our house, and although it was not a “raised voice” argument, it recurred several times in the first few months.  The only logic that kept me from continuing the argument is that she spent more time in the kitchen than me—she does most of the cooking and cleaning because she is home more.  I am trained in Lean 6-sigma which is a statistical approach for efficiency in manufacturing and business processes, and our silverware setup is definitely not efficient.  I can prove that with a stopwatch.

So why am I content now to “let it go” and traipse across the kitchen to get my spoon to eat my cereal in the dining area?  Because I have learned that our situation is not a “right-wrong” situation.  Yes, guys, my logic is impeccable, and I cannot deny that.  But Donna had similar logic.  To her, the drawer sizes mattered more.  The drawer near the table was much wider and deeper—so she needed that space for her cookbooks (which she accesses regularly, but which I access maybe a dozen times per year at most).  If she put the silverware in that drawer, there would be wasted space in that drawer and not enough room in the far away drawer for the cookbooks.  Never mind the drawer location—she was being practical.  I’m sure I could figure out how to keep the silverware in the “correct” drawer and still find places for her cookbooks, but that is not the point.  The point is that my logic is just that—logic.  It is not “right” or “wrong”.  Even if Donna just felt like she wanted the drawers her way, that would be a perfectly good reason to value her position.

Take a look again at the words that I used to describe my position and make my point: “all the way across the kitchen” sounds like a trans-Atlantic flight; “traipse” sounds like a funeral march; “lug” and “drag” sound like I’m moving a bag of cement and an uncooperative child; and “prove” is a great word to convince any marriage partner to admit they are wrong and you are right! (At least I didn’t say that God wanted the drawers my way.)  These words—that are intended to make a strong case and remove all doubt—only serve to escalate the argument and elicit similar words in return.  Can you see (or feel, or sense) that I was arguing my position as if there was a right way and a wrong way, when in fact there were only equally valid opinions and reasons for each of us?  I contend that most arguments in marriage are not about a right or wrong way, but about two people wanting ultimately the same thing (if you boil it down enough) but having two different opinions about how to get there. We want the best for our kids, but one thinks we need stricter discipline and another thinks we should let them fail to some degree and suffer some consequences.  We want a relaxing environment in our home, but one thinks green walls will help that and another prefers beige. Most arguments do not present a right and wrong choice, no matter how complex or deep the subject may be.  Otherwise, we could easily find a formula to figure out the right way together, agree on it, and put all arguments aside.

Remember in the Biblical book of Acts how some believers held to holy days and others counted every day alike?  Paul advised that they both held their positions as service to God, and they should not judge each other in that area.  Similar non-judgmental examples in the Bible are related to marrying/singleness, changing careers after conversion or staying in the same career, and using the specific spiritual gifts that God has blessed you with while acknowledging the importance of the differing gifts that others have.  So let’s stop thinking we are so superior to our spouses in our thinking, feeling, and understanding, and just admit that we most often just have different approaches, each with some benefits and some drawbacks. That alone will not resolve all arguments, but at least it will be a start to put them in perspective.  It will eliminate the insinuation that your spouse is “wrong”, and it will allow you to accept another solution because you are also not “wrong”.

The silverware has been in the drawer between the stove and fridge for10 years now, and I’ve forgotten all about having to “traipse” across the kitchen to get it.

Peace and blessings!

Dan & Donna McHugh
Allegheny Center Alliance Church
Pre-Marital Counseling Coordinators